The Assertive Edge: Confidence That Connects
When we say the word ‘assertive,’ what comes to mind? Maybe it’s the colleague who always has something to say in meetings, or the friend who just won’t take no for an answer. Many of us admire bold voices…while secretly worrying that if it were us, we’d come across as too much. Here’s the truth: assertiveness isn’t about being loud or forceful. It’s about speaking your mind clearly, confidently, and respectfully, no matter the situation.
Assertiveness can often be mistaken for aggression, but it’s really one of the most respectful forms of communication there is. It’s the ability to share your thoughts, feelings, and needs directly and unapologetically, while also honouring the rights and feelings of others. Assertive leaders know what they want, what they believe, and where they stand, and they do it without steamrolling anyone or shrinking back.
Where passivity sacrifices your own needs, and aggression bulldozes over others, assertiveness finds the balance. It’s how we communicate with clarity, confidence, and respect.
And that balance? It rests on ten simple but powerful rights. As you read them, notice which ones feel natural, and which ones are harder to accept as true:
- I have the right to decide how to live my life, pursue my goals, and set my priorities.
- I have the right to my own values, beliefs, opinions, and emotions, and to be respected for them.
- I have the right to not justify or explain my actions or feelings.
- I have the right to tell others how I wish to be treated.
- I have the right to say “No,” “I don’t know,” or “I don’t care.”
- I have the right to ask for help, without guilt.
- I have the right to change my mind, make mistakes, or do less than I’m capable of.
- I have the right to like myself, even though I’m not perfect.
- I have the right to have honest, satisfying relationships, or to end those that don’t meet my needs.
- I have the right to change, enhance, or develop my life in any way I choose.
And remember, everyone else has these rights too.
Claiming these rights sets the stage for healthier workplaces and deeper, more meaningful connections with ourselves and others.
Assertive people:
- Speak with confidence, not hesitation.
- Defend their boundaries while respecting others’.
- Lead without aggression, and follow without resentment.
The real question isn’t “Am I assertive?”, it’s “Which of these rights am I not giving myself permission to claim?”
Because reclaiming even one can change the way you show up, at work, at home, and everywhere in between.
If you’d like to bring this learning into your team, let’s connect. Email us at info@caleoconsulting.com to learn more about our Assertive Edge workshop.